You are never gonna keep me down 💪

Issue: 09 - Small change adds up

Apr 03, 2020

Dear Diary, this week I lost my shit.

enough real housewives of new jersey GIF

God, it felt good. I mean, not at the time, obv. But boy, oh boy, I needed that.

I needed to EXPLODE.

It’s hard to wrap your head around, but I think there’s something safe about a mild case of the blues. A little bit of sadness can provide comfort. We can have a pity party. Retreat. Hide. Indulge. Extra chocolate, another glass of wine.

But then it goes too far, shit gets worse and you fall too deep.

The pity turns to fury, the paralysis becomes infuriating and the pain… unbearable.

The most pivotal points in my life have been where I’ve hit some kind of rock bottom and then just said: Fuck. This. Shit.

I cannot live like this.
This is NOT how I will exist in the world.
Things HAVE to change.

Pain can be a great catalyst.

Suffered enough? Commit to change

When life gets too heavy my brain goes into survival mode.

[Trigger warning: I’m gonna keep it really real here]

It looks like this…

Q1: Am I going to end my life: No.
Q2: Can I exist feeling like this: No.
Okay - Let’s turn this shit around then.

This process allows me to commit to life. More than that, a better life.

I’m never nervous about asking myself that first question. It’s like I’m taking my own temperature, if I hesitate over wanting to be alive then I’ll immediately reach out for professional support. Shout and The Samaritans are great places to start.

Be the change

Once you’ve committed to change, the thought of turning things around can bring great relief. A load has been lifted and a glimmer of hope shines through.

In this state, creativity can come pretty quickly. My absolute favourite question to kick things off is “What can I do right now to make my life a little better?”

The possibilities are endless: Refocus and make someone else feel good, visualise the life you want to be leading, create a vision board, practise gratitude, recommit to a relationship, let go of a project that is wearing you down, do that online yoga class, turn your phone off, read a chapter of that book, cook your favourite meal.

Acknowledge that you’re making moves to make your life better. To be the change. To take control of your destiny. Jump on board the fucking woo-woo bus and send every good vibe out… You are worthy.

And you might have a wobble along the way, but you’re back on a better path, you’ll get back up again. And that makes you pretty damn special.

Have faith, you’ll be rewarded for it.