As per usual, this week I lost my shit…

It was Sunday and I was triggered by one of those “If you haven’t done X during the time of ‘Rona then you’re a lazy piece of shit” posts.
And look, I’m gonna admit, I would loved those posts when I was 26.
Fuck it. I would have posted those posts when I was 26.
But by 28 I had a mental breakdown and my world view changed.
Since then, I’ve been on a mission to find better ways and spread a different message.
And hey, the meanings are well-intentioned: To motivate.
And for some, they work.
But for me, they trigger guilt. They fuel feelings of not doing or being enough.
And there’s nothing less motivating than those feelings.
And in the very new and weird times of ‘Rona. We’re all feeling so much pressure about how we should be using this time. How we should be working, living, parenting, sleeping, loving, planning, thinking, feeling.
So we see a message that challenges our beliefs, and trigger. We’re not enough.
So, what way is the right way?

Yeah: there isn’t one.
But also, “Better business” is Balpro’s raison d'être. So I’m gonna focus on the work bit today…
If work is working for you
Awesome. Your job may feel like your saviour right now. It can be a great distraction and help you feel in control. Take advantage.
But have compassion. Others will not be in that place. Think twice before forwarding that motivational video and drop the “warriors are made in wartime” mantras.
Rather than dragging a coworker into a new project - find out where their head’s at. Even better, (delicately) offer to share the load of someone who is struggling.
Still restless? Grab that self dev book that’s been on your wishlist since last summer.
But don’t take it all on. The adrenaline will run out and the comedown can be brutal.
So do amazing things, feel proud of what you’re achieving but find ways to unwind and look after yourself too.
Ps… I have a PHD in using work to hide from complicated emotions. Hit reply if you want a hand with figuring that stuff out.
If work won’t work
Oh, it’s so frustrating. How attractive does the camp above look?
So many hours lost. So many self-deprecating thoughts. So much guilt.
But, take a moment. Consider this.
There’s more of the world on pause right now than there ever has been before. It’s never been a better time to give yourself permission to slightly ease your foot off the gas.
It feels like a big deal but it’s actually not.
Acknowledging that you need to allocate your resources in a different place is an admirable skill. You’re self-aware. Tap into that.
So stop beating yourself up and show yourself some love.
Figure out how you can keep some momentum whilst taking better care of yourself.
You might find that your productivity peaks when focusing on a 4 hour day. There may be certain tasks that actually feel easy, that make you come into your own - prioritise them.
COMMUNICATE*. Accept help.
And as for those in the #werkwerkwerk phase - replace resentment with appreciation. They’re just trying to stay sane too. Plus - the tables are likely to turn, everyone will swap camps, and again, and again…
Ps… I have a PHD in dealing with feelings of guilt or not being good enough - especially when it comes to missed expectations. Hit reply if you’d like help.
*Soz for shouting, but communication is so important here. We’re all in this together.
Yo people. We’re doing really well
It’s so easy to forget where we started and what we’ve accomplished.
Take ten minutes today and recognise that we’re living through something that you thought you’d only ever watch on Black Mirror. It’s a very weird world and we’re nailing it.
I mean look. There’s a Global Pandemic. We’re living in lockdown. We miss our friends. And pubs. And pret.
And yet you’re sitting there reading right now.
Your brain is engaged.
That’s a big deal.
So be proud of yourself. You’re doing better than you think.

Until next week,
Amber
Every day I’m balancin’
Don’t mind me, I’m just sobbing at the captain
I can’t press send without recognising the legend that is Captain Tom Moore who as I hit send has raised over £18m for the NHS. If you need a good cry, go watch a clip of him on BBC Breakfast.
And also - how awesome are we for coming together to celebrate this amazing human 🥰
Enjoying small change?
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