As per usual, this week I lost my shitâŠ
It was Sunday and I was triggered by one of those âIf you havenât done X during the time of âRona then youâre a lazy piece of shitâ posts.
And look, Iâm gonna admit, I would loved those posts when I was 26.
Fuck it. I would have posted those posts when I was 26.
But by 28 I had a mental breakdown and my world view changed.
Since then, Iâve been on a mission to find better ways and spread a different message.
And hey, the meanings are well-intentioned: To motivate.
And for some, they work.
But for me, they trigger guilt. They fuel feelings of not doing or being enough.
And thereâs nothing less motivating than those feelings.
And in the very new and weird times of âRona. Weâre all feeling so much pressure about how we should be using this time. How we should be working, living, parenting, sleeping, loving, planning, thinking, feeling.
So we see a message that challenges our beliefs, and trigger. Weâre not enough.
So, what way is the right way?
Yeah: there isnât one.
But also, âBetter businessâ is Balproâs raison d'ĂȘtre. So Iâm gonna focus on the work bit todayâŠ
If work is working for you
Awesome. Your job may feel like your saviour right now. It can be a great distraction and help you feel in control. Take advantage.
But have compassion. Others will not be in that place. Think twice before forwarding that motivational video and drop the âwarriors are made in wartimeâ mantras.
Rather than dragging a coworker into a new project - find out where their headâs at. Even better, (delicately) offer to share the load of someone who is struggling.
Still restless? Grab that self dev book thatâs been on your wishlist since last summer.
But donât take it all on. The adrenaline will run out and the comedown can be brutal.
So do amazing things, feel proud of what youâre achieving but find ways to unwind and look after yourself too.
Ps⊠I have a PHD in using work to hide from complicated emotions. Hit reply if you want a hand with figuring that stuff out.
If work wonât work
Oh, itâs so frustrating. How attractive does the camp above look?
So many hours lost. So many self-deprecating thoughts. So much guilt.
But, take a moment. Consider this.
Thereâs more of the world on pause right now than there ever has been before. Itâs never been a better time to give yourself permission to slightly ease your foot off the gas.
It feels like a big deal but itâs actually not.
Acknowledging that you need to allocate your resources in a different place is an admirable skill. Youâre self-aware. Tap into that.
So stop beating yourself up and show yourself some love.
Figure out how you can keep some momentum whilst taking better care of yourself.
You might find that your productivity peaks when focusing on a 4 hour day. There may be certain tasks that actually feel easy, that make you come into your own - prioritise them.
COMMUNICATE*. Accept help.
And as for those in the #werkwerkwerk phase - replace resentment with appreciation. Theyâre just trying to stay sane too. Plus - the tables are likely to turn, everyone will swap camps, and again, and againâŠ
Ps⊠I have a PHD in dealing with feelings of guilt or not being good enough - especially when it comes to missed expectations. Hit reply if youâd like help.
*Soz for shouting, but communication is so important here. Weâre all in this together.
Yo people. Weâre doing really well
Itâs so easy to forget where we started and what weâve accomplished.
Take ten minutes today and recognise that weâre living through something that you thought youâd only ever watch on Black Mirror. Itâs a very weird world and weâre nailing it.
I mean look. Thereâs a Global Pandemic. Weâre living in lockdown. We miss our friends. And pubs. And pret.
And yet youâre sitting there reading right now.
Your brain is engaged.
Thatâs a big deal.
So be proud of yourself. Youâre doing better than you think.
Until next week,
Amber
Every day Iâm balancinâ
Donât mind me, Iâm just sobbing at the captain
I canât press send without recognising the legend that is Captain Tom Moore who as I hit send has raised over ÂŁ18m for the NHS. If you need a good cry, go watch a clip of him on BBC Breakfast.
And also - how awesome are we for coming together to celebrate this amazing human đ„°
Enjoying small change?
Then spread the love and share it with your pals, colleagues, parents or neighbour. Hereâs a reminder of our deetsâŠ
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