I know what youāre thinking, but no - I didnāt actually lose my shit this week.
In fact, Iām not even gonna talk about this week.
Ohhhhh, okayā¦ So it was a good one. Had a Dominoās last night, started watching The A Word (LOVE), submitted a few very sexy new business proposals šš¼āāļø
You know, #balance.
But what I really wanna talk about this week is a lot more general.
Itās not soā¦ time-specific.
Itās this thing Iāve been thinking about for a while but feels uncomfortable to say.
Especially consideringā¦ what I do.
And myā¦ values.
But here it is.
Self care sucks
And the worst partā¦
Self care sucks most when you really need it
Iām not sure how much I even need to explain this, because I think itās something that we all kinda know, but we donāt really talk about.
And reader - feel free to holla if you disagree
But I believe that we know we should look after ourselves. We know when itās been too long and the #selfcare has gone from important to critical. We know when we should take a step back. We know that sometimes we need to do ānothingā and that by doing nothing, weāre actually allowing time for healing.
But we resist.
Itās uncomfortable.
We feel weak, guilty, indulgent, selfish, lazy.
It means we have to sit with our feelings rather than squish them down. It means that we neglect the to-do list and feel like weāre falling further behind.
In a world where we yearn for external validation, the rewards of self care feel silent. We celebrate when sacrifice fuels success, we glorify the martyr, we crave stories of scars that are gained along the way.
But a nap? Nah. That doesnāt send the crowd wild.
Ignoring self care comes at a cost
It makes you grouchy, less creative, apathetic.
Molehills become mountains. Possible no longer feels that way. Loved ones become annoying. So do you. Dreams feel out of reach. Comparison grows and people you used to admire, you now resent. Productivity plummets. Frustration overwhelms.
Food fuels guilt. Words donāt come easy. Sleep stops working.
Life loses a little colour.
Then a lot.
And sometimes, we completely break.
Neglecting self care is self harm
We know that taking time to nourish ourselves is good for us. We take time for others, we care for those we love. We get something from that - it makes us feel good.
But so often, we resist caring for ourselves.
So I want to offer a different point of view. Yes, sometimes self care really sucks. Itās rarely convenient, especially when we need it most.
But neglecting self care is harmful.
Neglecting self care is self harm.
Learn from my mistakes
In October ā17, I broke. My body was begging me to slow down for a very long time and I ignored it.Ā
There was too much other stuff I wanted to do. I had no interest in making time for caring for myself and was sure that if I ignored the signs, one day theyād go away.
But eventually, the choice was taken from me.
My body stepped in and stopped. And all those other distractions, all the beauty and inconveniences of life, it was all put on hold while I spent months on end working to heal.
So letās celebrate the f*cker
Letās celebrate the f*cker before itās too late.
Investing in self care is not selfish, itās responsible. It should bring pride, not guilt.
So read that book. Eat that good food. Take a day off. Do nothing. Do something. Turn off your phone. Say no to that thing thatās draining you. Say yes to that thing that will nourish you. Find a way to laugh.
Figure out what self care means for you.
Figure out what fills you back up.
Experiment.
Give yourself a break.
Care for yourself.
Off to care for me,
Amber
Every day Iām balancing
So kindness is key, huh
Next week is Mental Health Awareness Week and this yearās theme is kindness. We tell people to be kind, but we donāt always know what that means - especially when it comes to when people are struggling with their mental health.
So I have options for you...
Thereās the absolutely fabulous āhereās one I made earlierā blog post.
OR, Iāve started running corporate workshops on this same topic. And every time the crowd goes wild š
If you want us to run a workshop with your business - hit reply.
Equally, if youād be interested in me opening up a general session, lemme know how much youād pay for that kinda thang.
As per aboveā¦
Iām loving The A Word on BBC iPlayer. Itās enough to warm the coldest heart.
And hereās the Balpro logo. I simply cannot wait until itās safe to remove those 2m markers ā„ļø