I don’t know how many of you guys are on twitter, but self-isolation has been trending.
It all started because of the coronavirus (obv 😏) but people have been jumping on the bandwagon, joking about how they’ve been training for years in the art of being a recluse. Cancel culture took over and made home alone cooler than going-out-out.
And of course, we’re all introverts pretending to be extroverts, right?
Well, when my mental health is at it’s worst, I self-isolate. My head gets full and I find tackling it with other people hard, so I hide. It’s a survival mechanism.
To a point, it works for me, to a point, it doesn’t.
But isolation is not healthy.
We’re tribal people.
We need community.
Connection.
It takes a village.
A problem shared is a problem...
You finished that sentence without actually reading it - we all know this shit. We don’t always need to fight the cliché.
February kicked my ass a little. When I get physically sick I get nervous about my mental health because so many of the symptoms are so similar. So of course, that triggers further isolation.
…But a few things happened last weekend.
On Saturday I spoke at a panel with my lovely friend, Deeba Anandan by my side. She’s a clarity coach and absolutely wonderful human. We kicked ass so celebrated with wagas* and wine.
That evening, Aaron had to drag me into a cab because for the first time ever, I was the one who didn’t want to leave a social event.
The next morning I found myself alone, shouting at strangers. No - I didn’t escape back into the wild and go out out. I cheered on a London half marathon.
And then I remembered… People are actually pretty great. I enjoyed myself. I enjoyed them.
The audience at the event was engaged, warm, interested. The conversation flowed on Saturday night. The runners were strong, brave, inspiring and grateful.
It all felt so good.
I could have self-isolated.
I wasn’t particularly psyched about doing the panel. I wasn’t feeling up for friends that night. I had zero interest in going to the run.
I could have hid all weekend, I would have called it #selfcare.
But my social weekend was tonic. It was medicinal. It was fun.
We’re tribal people. We need community. Connection.
Now, I realise the irony in writing this at a time when companies are enforcing travel bans, the media is pushing remote working and people are getting worried about touching their faces - let alone the tube.
But people, we need to get out there! We need to connect. We need community. We need friends and family and colleagues and hype squads and small talk with baristas.
Sometimes we need this most when we don’t actually want it.
Cool ways to connect
Get moving with RunTalkRun: An amazing mental health community that’s all about forming connection on the move. These guys give no shits about pace, check out their website for more info.
Start an office tea time: One of my clients had grown so fast that nobody really knew each other. They now have a “Tuesday Tea Time” for 30 mins each week to have random chatter in their kitchen. It’s working.
Have a lunch break with a colleague: Lunch breaks make you so much more productive, drag someone out to Itsu, enjoy their company, go back and nail your afternoon.
Talk to strangers: Say whaaaaat? I had a laugh with a guy in Pret this morning and walked away not just with a coffee, but with a side of high-five. (I know, #corona, stop judging me 🙅🏼♀️). I told a lady on the tube that I loved the book she was reading (How to Fail by Elizabeth Day), she lit up and explained how she loved the podcast. We connected, it was lovely.
Don’t cancel: 26% of us make social plans with ‘no intention of attending’ (Metro) and, yeah - hi - same - me - been there - not proud - sorry ma. But maybe, go? Maybe actually attend. Maybe give fun a chance. Give people a chance.
Desperate to stay digital?
Create a hype squad WhatsApp group: A place for you and your friends to share good news and little wins, a positive place to cheer each other on.
Talk with voices: Call a friend for a random chat, do a video call, hang virtually. Crack some jokes, give a smile a go.
If you can’t remember what it looks like to have fun on a phone call, don’t worry. This gal’s got your back…
Off to talk to strangers,
Amber
Every day I’m balancin’
*Wagas = Wagamama. Saying wagas and wine just sounded nicer in my head.
Excuse me whilst I PDA
Last week I mentioned hiring Balpro’s first Media Manager. Well. I’m all soppy and gooey from my aren’t people like soooo totally awesome rant, but also, I can’t explain how much of a difference this is making. My heart is full and the projects that have only existed in my brain are now getting done. I’m using Charley from Ovas. I love to support small businesses (obv) so wanted to share the love.
Be a leader, they said
They say you don't leave a company, you leave a [bad] boss. Clearly, that’s something we all wanna avoid. I told The Next Web that I thought it was important to be more road sweeper and less superhero, find out what that means.
Wanna connect with people? Share small change
Here’s one I made earlier, don’t ever say I’m not good to you…
Hey [Insert Name], I was reading this totally awesome newsletter that I get each week, and boy oh boy… I mean, it’s so good I’m starting to wonder how I’d live without it. Anyway, this week the author (Amber from Balpro, check her out) was writing about how great people are, and I thought of you. Cringe!! But it’s true. I love you mate. So yeah, wanted to drop you a note to suggest you subscribe at balpro.com/subscribe. See you tomorrow, I promise I won’t cancel. [Your name]
And here’s the Balpro logo.